YOU and Addiction

You say I should stop and I need to control myself with this addiction, tell me how? Because I can't figure it out. You think I can really control? No, I can't. Okay, but before you answer that, let me tell you what I have been through. I can’t think of anything except you. I feel I am lost somewhere and I can't even find any way back to where I started. Maybe, if I go back, I can un-do things and then YOU, damn you won't be there on the new paths and even the previous ones because they have been un-done. I have lost my focus and there is nothing I want other than you. I want more of you with every passing day. Even there are times I eat and drink, but I don’t feel it, I just know the name of what I am consuming, but how it tastes, well, I got no idea. I wonder if my taste buds are working. 

You know what I wish? Every single morning when I open my eyes, I really pray that you are just beside me, either in a sound peaceful sleep or looking at me and smiling. what else? I wanna travel to all the beautiful and stupid places with you. Explore around and look how you see the world. I wish I could just tell you every stupid non-sense thing I have done in my life and even the entire day, whether it is of concern to you or not. I just wanna say it all. If you could listen to me......if you could listen to me.......when you tell me things about yourself I always want to listen because I just love doing that, I have no idea why, no matter if they make a sense or not. I am all ears and listening......listening and asking questions, so you may feel and realize how special and how important that talk is to me and more than that, YOU. 

You know what is worst? When I do things which I shouldn't have said or done I feel it would have been better if I couldn't breathe... it is sensitive of me, but I feel it so deep that mostly it seems as if something will happen to my heart and I wouldn't be able to move ever again. That may sound filmy and unrealistic, but let me tell you anything related to you is not a drama or a story for me. It is real. Damn. Another stupid thing I wish for is to sleep while listening and talking to you with my days starting and ending at you and your laugh. How could I forget that...I love all of you in all your forms…..
Tell me now, how should I control this addiction??