Trust me Once, Maybe...?

They mock at me, call me a coward and tell me that I am too afraid. Why is that so? Well, it is because I fear darkness, I fear to be alone, and I avoid going to strange places. I am an adult now and still, I can't take control of my personal belongings on my own. Darkness scares me and I think there is someone standing and he will take me away or hurt me. Strange places are full of people and things which would be a threat to me and I should avoid them. It is not that I don't try to take responsibility or step in the dark areas, I have tried, many times, but there is something which makes me believe that there must be something wrong.  

Are you wondering why I believe so? I think I might be wrong, in fact, I am or maybe not I am confused because…..I could hear her, even when I was a few months old, the calm and soothing voice of my mother. She was trying to make me sleep, but I wanted to play, and then something happened. She turned off the lights and told me that there was a scary person standing right beside my bed and if I don’t sleep, he will eat me or take me away to his scary place. I cried, loud, wanting my mother to be with me all the time so the nerve-racking person won’t harm me, and eventually, I slept. She told me this every other night, I trusted her, she was my mother, she gave me birth, and who else was I supposed to believe other than her? She never let me do my chores and told me that I was not able to manage and take care of my stuff, so she did it for me, till today. Whenever I wanted to go with my friends to the park to play, she went with me and watched me, all the time, because it was a strange place, and I didn’t often use to go there. My dear mother told me that I will be lost alone, and then I won’t be able to find my way back to home.

I don’t understand why people laugh at me because I act so, I am just doing everything my mother told me and made me believe. After all, she was my primary care giver and she knows me better than anyone. But you know what, deep down I think, sorry mom for saying so, I think I could have done everything if you believed and trusted me once.